Does anyone ever realize life while they live it?

How easily we can forget how precious life is!  So long as we can remember, we've just been here, being alive.  Unlike other things for which we have comparison,-black to white, day to night, good to bad-we are so immersed in life that we can see it only in context of itself.  We don't see life as compare to anything, to not-being, for example, to never having been born.  Life just is.

But life itself is a gift.  It's a compliment just being born: to feel, breathe, think, play, dance, sing, work, make love, for this particular lifetime.

Today, let's give thanks for life.  For life itself!  For simply being born.

-Daphne Rose Kingma

What a beautiful thing it is to be blessed with this earthly adventure, with all of its joy and pain and anger and love.  How easy it is to forget this in our day to day lives...

EMILY: Does anyone ever realize life while they live it?  Every, every minute?

STAGE MANAGER: "No.  Saints and Poets, maybe...they do some."

I dedicate today's post to my grandmother, Esther Marie Fischle Joy.  She lived life in the most joyful way possible; a true saint, if there ever was one. I am so grateful to have had her as part of my story, and to have been part of hers.

Esther Marie Fischle Joy
"Tutu"
1923-2013

Who you are, and what you do, are not the same.

Who you are, and what you do, are not the same.  Express your doing from your being, and you will enjoy what you do.  

This equals happiness.

Do this consistently, over a long period of time, and you will do what you want to do.  

This equals freedom.

Your natural essence is your inner beauty.  Let it shine.  

Your light is unique, and without the world is a darker place.

Paper People. Restore PT & Wellness, Ashburn, VA. photo by: Shannon Madden

Without a doubt, one of the most common ice-breaker questions in American society is this one: "What do you do?"

For some, the answer can be pretty simple--I'm a doctor, I'm a lawyer, I'm a teacher, I'm in advertising.

For others, this brings forth a wave of anxiety, because they might be doing something that isn't necessarily what they want to be doing and they don't want to be defined by it.  Or they may feel like they won't rank as high on the totem pole. Some people start to feel very small in the face of this question.

The quote above makes two points.

First, is that your job or what you do, is NOT who you are.  Even if your job might not be what you want it to be right now, there is no need to feel small in the face of the dreaded "what do you do?," question.

Who you REALLY are is your essence.  It comes from within and it is totally unique, but at the same time totally a part of the unified whole that makes us humans.

Letting this essence shine is the ultimate true self-expression.  It will make you feel alive and in-tune.  Not only that, but your light will shine upon who ever is around you, allowing them to feel safe to do the same.  It will send waves of positivity to everyone around you.  That is far more valuable than impressing someone with a job title.  

The other point this quote makes is that if your essence, or heart, is not in what you are doing, you are not allowing yourself to "do" as a natural extension of what you "are".  We all have to eat, but people who are internally motivated--not just motivated by a paycheck--are more productive, more focused, and more efficient.  Not to mention, to them, it doesn't really feel like work.  Doing what you love leads to happiness.  Unshakable happiness, in it's purest form, is the ultimate freedom.

We are all endowed with different gifts that are intended for us to share.  If we are motivated by purely external factors or are doing what we think we should be doing, rather than what we feel driven to do from within, it is almost certain that some of our gifts are going unused.

What are your gifts?  Are you sharing them?  How can you use them to contribute and make society, or simply someone's day, a little brighter?

Erie, PA, sunset. photo by: Shannon Madden

Hello, Yellow Brick Road

Usually, the best way to find the yellow brick road of your life, is to start out on the dusty, dirt one.

  And then let yourself become so preoccupied in making the best of it, having fun, and challenging yourself that you actually stop paying attention to the path.



Until, one day, not so long from now, with a new best friend, wearing cool clothes, feeling awesome, a teeny tiny bit taller, fresh from a WOW vacation, looking for the path you just left, you'll notice that it's 24 carats... baby.



And you'll wonder for a long, long time, sipping on some exotic fruit drink, when the transformation actually took place...  

-Tut.com

Every morning, I am greeted with a note from the Universe.  Tut.com is an inspirational website that sends you a burst of morning motivation every weekday.  I found today's message particularly interesting. 

We are an end-goal oriented society.  We focus on the top of the mountain instead of the first step it takes to get there.   With yoga, many people are deterred because they look at the cover of yoga magazines and see very advanced poses and say, "I can't do that, so I can't do yoga."   

That is where they are mistaken.  What makes yoga, yoga, very simply, is breathing and being present.   When we are walking, if we are mindful of our breath, moving in and out, we are doing yoga.  When we are lying in corpse pose, not moving a muscle, and we are paying attention, we are doing yoga.  We are reaping most of the same benefits as those that fly up into crow pose or headstand--lowered blood-pressure, calmer mind, less anxiety, and more.  

But, if we have the attitude that because we can't get the brass ring in our first class, we put up a wall, and block ourselves from going on a beautiful journey.

This can translate into other parts of life.  Many people have the drive to be something, whether it be a doctor or an actor or a business person.  Yet, when they think of these things, they see the movie star or the renowned MD or the CEO.  Then, they see what it takes to get there, and the road seems long, windy, dark, and dusty.  It might mean being a starving grad student or doing extra roles or interning for free.  This is enough to turn many people another, less-fulfilling direction.

In the Tao, ancient Chinese philosopher Laozi says, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

It's great to visualize where you want to end up, but you have to take the first step.  We must accept that the road is far from golden at the beginning.  Just like Dorothy experienced on her way to Oz, there will be dark forests and obstacles to overcome, but if we can find a way to enjoy these obstacles and value the lessons that we learn from our momentary set-backs, the rewards will be even more satisfying.

I Walk Down a Different Street...

Autobiography in Five Chapters 

 1) I walk down the street.

 There is a deep hole in the sidewalk I fall in. 

 I am lost … I am hopeless.

 It isn’t my fault. 

 It takes forever to find a way out. 

 2) I walk down the same street. 

 There is a hole in the sidewalk. 

 I pretend I don’t see it.

 I fall in again. 

 I can’t believe I am in the same place. 

 But it isn’t my fault. 

 It still takes a long time to get out.

 3) I walk down the same street. 

 There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 

 I see it there.

 I still fall in … it’s a habit.

 My eyes are open I knowwhere I am.

 It is my fault. I get out immediately.

 4) I walk down the same street. 

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it. 

 5) I walk down another street. 

 - Excerpt from The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche 

We all have bad habits.  Whether they come in the form of cheeseburgers, cigarettes, unhealthy relationships, or biting our nails, we know that our lives would be better if we stopped, but we just can't seem to do it.  Sometimes we use excuses like stress or unhappiness or bad luck to explain away our actions so we can put the responsibility on something else other than ourselves.  We beat ourselves up for being so weak.  

Sogyal Rinpoche tells us that bad habits are human nature.  We all have the potential for them, but we all also have the strength within us to let them go.  It may take days, weeks, or years, but the key is seeing your habit and understanding that it is fully within your power to continue or stop it.  By taking responsibility for habits and refusing to be a victim to circumstances, we assume great power to overcome any obstacle, especially the habit.

This auto-biography also tells us that the process of avoiding the hole and choosing a different path takes awhile.  We all remember the movie Groundhog Day, where Bill Murray must live February 2nd over and over again until he fixes the bad habits in his life. That is a full feature film of worth of falling into a hole and figuring out how to get out, only to fall in again.

But just like Bill eventually figured it out and could finally move onto February 3rd, with dedication, personal responsibility, and inner-stregnth, we all have the power to re-train ourselves to avoid our own potholes and walk down a healthier, happier street.

When one door closes....

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

-Helen Keller/Alexander Graham Bell

None of us is a stranger to change.  Sometimes change is exciting and fun, but other times it can leave us yearning for the life we used to know.  Especially at the beginning, it is hard to look past how the new situation is different or worse than the old situation to see the good points.

I'll share an example from my own life.  I, myself, am in a position of transition.  It's not that I've never been in one before--I've lived in cities thousands of miles from home--, but it has been a while. 

I've recently moved from the tranquility of my childhood home in the suburbs to an apartment in the bustling city.  It has been hard to look past the challenges that have come up: a long commute, getting lost in a maze of one-way streets, trouble parking, loud city sounds, the need for heightened security awareness, dust bunnies, less space...the list goes on. 

But, living in the city is full of possibilities.  It means restaurants and stores within walking distance; stimulation of all the senses; outdoor cafes with excellent eavesdropping; more nooks and crannies to explore; the possibility of meeting more young, creative people; more culture and entertainment; the opportunity to be fully independent again.

It's hard not to look at the red front door of my old home and not want to run back inside, but if I can allow myself to walk through this new door that has been opened for me and explore, I know that happiness and opportunity are not far.

The sooner we can direct our attention from the door that has closed behind us to the door that is welcoming us in, the sooner we can see the beauty that awaits.

Be grateful for whatever comes...

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi

It's not easy to be as optimistic as the 13th-century mystic poet Rumi, but reading his work can at least plant the seed. Being human is full of ups and downs.  The downs can be be pretty rough, but if we can think about the downs as preparation for the good that is right around the corner, it might help us sleep better at night.

The bad moments can also be important messengers to direct our attention towards the things that are going well.   As Robin Williams says in Good Will Hunting, "You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to.

Just like a devastating fire that clears a forest to make way for new growth, every experience, good or bad, has a purpose, which will someday become clear.  Our challenge is to remain positive and patient until it does that purpose is revealed.  

Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

The Art of Letting Go...

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her.

The senior monk carried this woman on his shoulder, forded the river and let her down on the other bank. The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing.

They both were walking and senior monk noticed that his junior was suddenly silent and enquired “Is something the matter, you seem very upset?”

The junior monk replied, “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The senior monk replied, “I left the woman a long time ago at the bank, however, you seem to be carrying her still.”

Japanese Garden, Portland, OR

We all have things in life that get under our skin.  Aggressive drivers that won't let us in, nagging co-workers, rude customer service people are just a few of the many offenders that we come into contact with every day.

After these interactions, it's only human to stew for a while, just like the junior monk.  The feelings we experience can be frustrating and very upsetting.  But, what good does it do to replay the scene and relive the frustration again and again? It certainly won't change what happened or, even, "pay back" the offender.  It will just ruin your day.

What the senior monk has learned, and what he was trying to impart to his junior counterpart, is the concept of letting go.

What do we gain from holding onto the negativity that we meet in life?

More negativity.

What do we gain from letting the negativity go?

Peace.

----

This week, if you have the misfortune to run into such a situation, first, take a deep breath and let it out.

Then, think of the whole situation and all the negativity surrounding it like a big balloon.  Once's you've collected everything associated with the event, let go of the balloon and let it float away it disappears.

Next, think of 3 interactions that filled your life with positivity.  Let them replace the hole that the negative event left in your life.

Finally, smile.  :)