Sutra I, 5: Vacillations can be painful or not painful

The vacillations
are of five types,
which may be
painful, or not painful.

---

Bipolar Disorder, or Manic-Depressive as it has been called before that, is characterized to the general public as experiencing high high highs called Mania and low lows called Depression.
People who appear to have this disorder are constantly cycling between these two states.

Many people with Bipolar love the manic phase as they can feel intense joy, energy and excitement about little things in life.  On the other side of the coin, however, depression sets in causing them to feel pain, sadness, and hopelessness.

The thing is, we all have this susceptibility for highs and lows.
They are some of the vacillations we learn about in studying yoga.  The vacillations are not always bad, or painful, but can be delightful!

Clouds are delightful or ominous vacillations that are never the same from moment to moment.  The blue sky is always still up there behind them, no matter what, though.

The key is recognizing them as separate from the Self, so we are not governed by them.

Sutra I, 4: When the Self is lost in life's vacillations

At all other times,
the Self
appears
to assume the form
of thought's vacillations
and the True Self
is
lost.

The True Self is like a glass of water.  It's naturally clear and still.

Emotions and judgments color the water, boil it, or thrash it around.

Though it is still water, it is nearly unrecognizable as the pure, sparkling substance that it was originally, but instead recognized as the vacillations that color its qualities.

Sutra I, 3: What happens when the mind is at peace and ready for yoga?

When this happens,

then the Seer is revealed,

resting in its own essential nature,

and one realizes

the True 

Self.

---
Within us, we all have two selves.  One is the Actor and one is the Seer. 

Our Actor self is:

The risk taker. The mistake maker.  The winner.  The judger.  The lover. The cool kid. The loather. The chameleon. The big shot. The doctor. The criminal. The slut. The hero.

This is the self that gets tangled up in the drama of life.

Our actor self is our ego:

That thing that makes us feel like special snowflakes or sore-thumbs.

Our Seer self is:

The True Self that watches as the actor takes risks, assumes personas, has emotional outbursts, laughs, cries, gets angry, gets hurt.

This Self is non-plussed, except for always loving the actor self, no matter how many messes the actor gets into.

The True Self has always been there from the beginning and is what is mirrored in all human beings, underneath whatever costumes, titles, armor, or stories of battle they've collected.  Our True Self is as pure as the day we were born.  And it's still very much alive in all of us.

The True Self is safety...light...love...connection to the universe.

When the Seer can differentiate between the drama and emotional gymnastics of the Actor, the True Self is realized.

Two Selves by SeerTime. deviantart.com

Sutra I, 2: What is yoga?

This tree is still a tree, even with its badass tattoos!

Yoga 
is experienced
in that mind
which has ceased 
to identify itself
with its
vacillating waves of perception

This sutra is about quieting judgment and ego to open a clear channel for the union of body, mind, and spirit.

A lot of people know that the goal is to have a clear mind in yoga class and how impossible that seems.

Whenever someone tells me to clear my mind, 17 random thoughts will pop in just to show me who is boss.  But over the years of going to yoga practice, my mind-activity during yoga class has gone from the level of a hilarious morning talk show to a quiet library where a thought will jump out of my subconscious like a mischievous kid ignoring the "inside voices" rule.  It's a lot easier to identify that wayward thought, acknowledge it, and quiet it down, sending my attention back to helping my body do what it needs to do, rather than judging it for how ridiculous it looks trying to get into Crow Pose or another challenging arm balance.

For more than a decade of going to class, I would say that only a minor percentage of that was spent actually experiencing yoga, which means to yoke, or unite, the mind, body and spirit.  That's because my mind was having a field day as my body tried to fight into challenging and uncomfortable positions without the power of the mind behind it.

Going all the way back to the beginning, I probably would have done myself more of a favor If I had spent an hour in Savasana or "corpse pose," rather than not breathing and struggling to look like the best yogi in the room, comparing myself to others and losing concentration, then giving up and beating myself up for failing.  Luckily, now, I barely glance at the other yogis in the room.  They are simply my fellow travelers, on their own journey.  If I fall, I fall, and get back up, without judging myself, just laughing at myself a little sometimes.

When we let go of what our mind THINKS we should be able to do or what we should be doing, yoga is there to present its gifts.

Sutra I, 1: Be Here Now to experience yoga

Day 1 of a study of the Yoga Sutras

Sutra I, 1: Opening Aphorism

With great respect and love,

now the blessings of 

yoga instruction 

are offered

The key word here is "now". The thing about yoga is that it's always for here for us in every, every moment.  In every moment, the loving power of universe and the alignment of self is available to us.

But the caveat is, to access these blessings, we actually have to be there.

Here.  Now.

Not planning our route to the our next engagement.  Not worrying about a criticism from our boss that happened yesterday.  Not wondering when that answer is going to come via email or text.

If we can discipline ourselves to put those worries aside for this moment, it's possible to almost instantly re-align with the benefits of yoga so we have the strength to manage all of the responsibilities and distractions and decide with a level head which of those worries are worthy of our time and which are responsibilities that belong to others that we have taken on for ourselves.

It's a gift we can give ourselves to be here now, open to the healing power of yoga.

Check these guys out.  They're in no hurry to move mountains.  Give yourself permission to have that same feeling of NOT having to save the world, just for a moment.  just for now.

Hello, Yellow Brick Road

Usually, the best way to find the yellow brick road of your life, is to start out on the dusty, dirt one.

  And then let yourself become so preoccupied in making the best of it, having fun, and challenging yourself that you actually stop paying attention to the path.



Until, one day, not so long from now, with a new best friend, wearing cool clothes, feeling awesome, a teeny tiny bit taller, fresh from a WOW vacation, looking for the path you just left, you'll notice that it's 24 carats... baby.



And you'll wonder for a long, long time, sipping on some exotic fruit drink, when the transformation actually took place...  

-Tut.com

Every morning, I am greeted with a note from the Universe.  Tut.com is an inspirational website that sends you a burst of morning motivation every weekday.  I found today's message particularly interesting. 

We are an end-goal oriented society.  We focus on the top of the mountain instead of the first step it takes to get there.   With yoga, many people are deterred because they look at the cover of yoga magazines and see very advanced poses and say, "I can't do that, so I can't do yoga."   

That is where they are mistaken.  What makes yoga, yoga, very simply, is breathing and being present.   When we are walking, if we are mindful of our breath, moving in and out, we are doing yoga.  When we are lying in corpse pose, not moving a muscle, and we are paying attention, we are doing yoga.  We are reaping most of the same benefits as those that fly up into crow pose or headstand--lowered blood-pressure, calmer mind, less anxiety, and more.  

But, if we have the attitude that because we can't get the brass ring in our first class, we put up a wall, and block ourselves from going on a beautiful journey.

This can translate into other parts of life.  Many people have the drive to be something, whether it be a doctor or an actor or a business person.  Yet, when they think of these things, they see the movie star or the renowned MD or the CEO.  Then, they see what it takes to get there, and the road seems long, windy, dark, and dusty.  It might mean being a starving grad student or doing extra roles or interning for free.  This is enough to turn many people another, less-fulfilling direction.

In the Tao, ancient Chinese philosopher Laozi says, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

It's great to visualize where you want to end up, but you have to take the first step.  We must accept that the road is far from golden at the beginning.  Just like Dorothy experienced on her way to Oz, there will be dark forests and obstacles to overcome, but if we can find a way to enjoy these obstacles and value the lessons that we learn from our momentary set-backs, the rewards will be even more satisfying.

Be grateful for whatever comes...

THE GUEST HOUSE

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.

meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi

It's not easy to be as optimistic as the 13th-century mystic poet Rumi, but reading his work can at least plant the seed. Being human is full of ups and downs.  The downs can be be pretty rough, but if we can think about the downs as preparation for the good that is right around the corner, it might help us sleep better at night.

The bad moments can also be important messengers to direct our attention towards the things that are going well.   As Robin Williams says in Good Will Hunting, "You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to.

Just like a devastating fire that clears a forest to make way for new growth, every experience, good or bad, has a purpose, which will someday become clear.  Our challenge is to remain positive and patient until it does that purpose is revealed.  

Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

The Art of Letting Go...

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her.

The senior monk carried this woman on his shoulder, forded the river and let her down on the other bank. The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing.

They both were walking and senior monk noticed that his junior was suddenly silent and enquired “Is something the matter, you seem very upset?”

The junior monk replied, “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The senior monk replied, “I left the woman a long time ago at the bank, however, you seem to be carrying her still.”

Japanese Garden, Portland, OR

We all have things in life that get under our skin.  Aggressive drivers that won't let us in, nagging co-workers, rude customer service people are just a few of the many offenders that we come into contact with every day.

After these interactions, it's only human to stew for a while, just like the junior monk.  The feelings we experience can be frustrating and very upsetting.  But, what good does it do to replay the scene and relive the frustration again and again? It certainly won't change what happened or, even, "pay back" the offender.  It will just ruin your day.

What the senior monk has learned, and what he was trying to impart to his junior counterpart, is the concept of letting go.

What do we gain from holding onto the negativity that we meet in life?

More negativity.

What do we gain from letting the negativity go?

Peace.

----

This week, if you have the misfortune to run into such a situation, first, take a deep breath and let it out.

Then, think of the whole situation and all the negativity surrounding it like a big balloon.  Once's you've collected everything associated with the event, let go of the balloon and let it float away it disappears.

Next, think of 3 interactions that filled your life with positivity.  Let them replace the hole that the negative event left in your life.

Finally, smile.  :)