Sutra I, 5: Vacillations can be painful or not painful

The vacillations
are of five types,
which may be
painful, or not painful.

---

Bipolar Disorder, or Manic-Depressive as it has been called before that, is characterized to the general public as experiencing high high highs called Mania and low lows called Depression.
People who appear to have this disorder are constantly cycling between these two states.

Many people with Bipolar love the manic phase as they can feel intense joy, energy and excitement about little things in life.  On the other side of the coin, however, depression sets in causing them to feel pain, sadness, and hopelessness.

The thing is, we all have this susceptibility for highs and lows.
They are some of the vacillations we learn about in studying yoga.  The vacillations are not always bad, or painful, but can be delightful!

Clouds are delightful or ominous vacillations that are never the same from moment to moment.  The blue sky is always still up there behind them, no matter what, though.

The key is recognizing them as separate from the Self, so we are not governed by them.

Sutra I, 4: When the Self is lost in life's vacillations

At all other times,
the Self
appears
to assume the form
of thought's vacillations
and the True Self
is
lost.

The True Self is like a glass of water.  It's naturally clear and still.

Emotions and judgments color the water, boil it, or thrash it around.

Though it is still water, it is nearly unrecognizable as the pure, sparkling substance that it was originally, but instead recognized as the vacillations that color its qualities.

Sutra I, 3: What happens when the mind is at peace and ready for yoga?

When this happens,

then the Seer is revealed,

resting in its own essential nature,

and one realizes

the True 

Self.

---
Within us, we all have two selves.  One is the Actor and one is the Seer. 

Our Actor self is:

The risk taker. The mistake maker.  The winner.  The judger.  The lover. The cool kid. The loather. The chameleon. The big shot. The doctor. The criminal. The slut. The hero.

This is the self that gets tangled up in the drama of life.

Our actor self is our ego:

That thing that makes us feel like special snowflakes or sore-thumbs.

Our Seer self is:

The True Self that watches as the actor takes risks, assumes personas, has emotional outbursts, laughs, cries, gets angry, gets hurt.

This Self is non-plussed, except for always loving the actor self, no matter how many messes the actor gets into.

The True Self has always been there from the beginning and is what is mirrored in all human beings, underneath whatever costumes, titles, armor, or stories of battle they've collected.  Our True Self is as pure as the day we were born.  And it's still very much alive in all of us.

The True Self is safety...light...love...connection to the universe.

When the Seer can differentiate between the drama and emotional gymnastics of the Actor, the True Self is realized.

Two Selves by SeerTime. deviantart.com

Sutra I, 2: What is yoga?

This tree is still a tree, even with its badass tattoos!

Yoga 
is experienced
in that mind
which has ceased 
to identify itself
with its
vacillating waves of perception

This sutra is about quieting judgment and ego to open a clear channel for the union of body, mind, and spirit.

A lot of people know that the goal is to have a clear mind in yoga class and how impossible that seems.

Whenever someone tells me to clear my mind, 17 random thoughts will pop in just to show me who is boss.  But over the years of going to yoga practice, my mind-activity during yoga class has gone from the level of a hilarious morning talk show to a quiet library where a thought will jump out of my subconscious like a mischievous kid ignoring the "inside voices" rule.  It's a lot easier to identify that wayward thought, acknowledge it, and quiet it down, sending my attention back to helping my body do what it needs to do, rather than judging it for how ridiculous it looks trying to get into Crow Pose or another challenging arm balance.

For more than a decade of going to class, I would say that only a minor percentage of that was spent actually experiencing yoga, which means to yoke, or unite, the mind, body and spirit.  That's because my mind was having a field day as my body tried to fight into challenging and uncomfortable positions without the power of the mind behind it.

Going all the way back to the beginning, I probably would have done myself more of a favor If I had spent an hour in Savasana or "corpse pose," rather than not breathing and struggling to look like the best yogi in the room, comparing myself to others and losing concentration, then giving up and beating myself up for failing.  Luckily, now, I barely glance at the other yogis in the room.  They are simply my fellow travelers, on their own journey.  If I fall, I fall, and get back up, without judging myself, just laughing at myself a little sometimes.

When we let go of what our mind THINKS we should be able to do or what we should be doing, yoga is there to present its gifts.

Yoga Mission: Sutra of the Day

Recently, I've been getting further and futher away from the heart of yoga, which in the past has been a spiritual anchor for me. Many people find solace in the teachings of Jesus and the Bible, others the Koran, still others have their own set of beliefs. I would say that I fit into this last category, which I think includes the best of all of the above.

But in the past, yoga has helped me create a synchronicity between mind, body, and spirit that helps me feel aligned with my purpose and the universe. Lately, the cooperation between these different parts of myself has been pretty off.

So, I've decided to return to the "bible" of yoga, Maharishi Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, in this case as interpreted by Mukunda Stiles. It's only one of MANY interpretations, but it's very boiled down, making it easy to absorb.

By blogging about each Sutra, threads woven through four chapters of text, I hope to share my own interpretation for application in the modern world as I rediscover its power.

Thanks for reading. Namaste :)

Sutra I, 1: Be Here Now to experience yoga

Day 1 of a study of the Yoga Sutras

Sutra I, 1: Opening Aphorism

With great respect and love,

now the blessings of 

yoga instruction 

are offered

The key word here is "now". The thing about yoga is that it's always for here for us in every, every moment.  In every moment, the loving power of universe and the alignment of self is available to us.

But the caveat is, to access these blessings, we actually have to be there.

Here.  Now.

Not planning our route to the our next engagement.  Not worrying about a criticism from our boss that happened yesterday.  Not wondering when that answer is going to come via email or text.

If we can discipline ourselves to put those worries aside for this moment, it's possible to almost instantly re-align with the benefits of yoga so we have the strength to manage all of the responsibilities and distractions and decide with a level head which of those worries are worthy of our time and which are responsibilities that belong to others that we have taken on for ourselves.

It's a gift we can give ourselves to be here now, open to the healing power of yoga.

Check these guys out.  They're in no hurry to move mountains.  Give yourself permission to have that same feeling of NOT having to save the world, just for a moment.  just for now.

You're one of a kind!

Imagine you are a Tiffany Vase.

You're one of a kind.

Someone has put you together with the most extraordinary care.

You're uniquely beautiful.

But you are blue.  You are a blue vase.

And if you are put on display and somebody wants an orange vase, there is nothing you can do.

You are who you are.  And the most you know that, the less personally you will take it when someone 

chooses something else.

-Julie Motyka, Actress

I think we can all agree that rejection sucks.  Whether it is getting dumped by someone you thought was The One, getting that courtesy email from a no-longer-potential employer, or not getting cast in a play or chosen for a team, nobody wants to be told that they aren't wanted.

But, here's the thing: It's not you, it's them.

Seriously.  

You are perfect.  We all are. 

Like the proverbial snowflake, each one of us is created in our own unique mold and then it's thrown away.  Each one of us is that way for a reason.

It's in comparing ourselves to others who have what we want or allowing someone else's preferences make us feel inferior that we forget that we are perfect just the way we are.

Rejection simply means that whatever you were going after wasn't the right fit for you. If you can see rejection for what it is, the fear of it will fall away, and you will no longer be afraid to risk it in your journey to find your best fit in the world.

Don't forget that you are priceless, like a Tiffany vase or the Hope Diamond, but even more so because you are a living, breathing being and the world is your oyster.  If someone prefers the orange vase to your brilliant blue one, that does not make you any less fabulous.